Thoughts during my Planned-To-Be-Six-But-Turned-Into-Eight mile run on Saturday morning:
Pre Run: Shit. Why did I have that second Hendricks martini last night? Not to mention the Amstel Light?! And why didn’t I do laundry yesterday, the only socks I have are old, worn out Gap ones! Eck, let’s sweat this funk attitude and gin out…
Mile 0-1: Ok this isn’t horrible, and I’m so happy Frankie from Kinetic really sent me that Fast Car remix, it’s a fantastic addition to my “Ultimate Workout” playlist! (note: I am really original with my playlist names. I have one that I listen to exclusively while I do yoga. It’s called “Yoga”)
Mile 1-2: What a lovely-lovely day (in my inner monologue’s Bane voice) – this 6 miler is going to fly by. And I have a water fountain coming up, woohoo – thank you Santa Monica, it’s as if you planned for me needing extra hydration!
Mile 2-3: OOO if I shoot for 8 miles I can stop and stare at the ocean halfway through! Let’s do that! I feel awesome!
Mile 3-3.5: I get it Pharrell. You’re Happy – I’m Happy, we’re all HAPPY …I really need to remove this from my playlist for awhile. ..It is pretty catchy though. Man, I remember when running 3 miles KILLED me. I have come a long way. Mental pat-on-the-back for you, Melissa! Can’t nothing bring me down, my level’s too high!
Mile 4: YEAH!!! Hello Pacific, you beautiful beast! I should probably stop and take a few pictures of you. Maybe a few selfies of me in my TMNT shirt with you in the background! ..Wow. Note to self: Cut back on alcohol, your face is so swollen and your eyes are small enough to begin with. …Delete evidence and get back to your run!
Mile 4-5: Hmm. My toe hurts…oh right, I forgot I had those blisters from those stupid old flats I wore to work on Thursday. I’ll take advantage of the upcoming intersection and check out the damage.
Mile 5: Shit….my blister has two blisters. That’s going to be fun the next three miles.
Mile 5-6: Where’s that freaking water fountain? I’ll stop and rub my feet. Man, I should have just worn some dirty socks instead of chancing it with these stretched out, thin old ones.
Mile 6-7: And now the toe on my right foot hurts too…Why did I extend this run? Grr, I’d already be finished. I’d already by airing out my poor tootsies. Ha, this is in no way a pretty run. But whatever, toe skin grows back.
Mile 7-8: Woot woot, LAST MILE! Yayyyy, I am kicking today’s ASS! Some people aren’t even up yet and I’m just about to finish 8 miles! I’m gonna KILL IT next week at The Bix! …As long as it’s not too hot or humid. Shhh, don’t think about Iowa summers right now – just bask in your current achievement.
Finish: Ok, take a selfie of you and the Turtle’s waving and send it to your lazy friends hehe.